Abstract:

One of the most difficult life situations with which we adults cope is providing support to children who have experienced loss. It's natural for adults to seek to protect the children and spare them emotional pain; that is why they often avoid talking with them about their classmate's death and their own personal sense of loss (Morgan and Roberts, 2010; Webb, 2005). Coping with this is even more complicated in the case of the grief of children with disabilities, called "disenfranchised grief" (Doka, 2002). These children are perceived as lacking the ability to grieve, to experience sorrow and pain, and to understand these feelings. Sometimes participating in the grieving process is denied to them due to society's conduct (Doka, 2002; Gault, 2012), which creates separation, distancing and exclusion rather than closeness and inclusion, thereby depriving the children of the emotional support they need (Shalev, 2014). Children with disabilities may find it hard to "speak" their pain and will be at risk of developing added difficulties such as depression and complicated grief (Dodd et al., 2008). Therefore, the educational staff is called upon to pay attention to these children's reactions in the period of mourning (Shalev, Zamir, & Barak, 2022; Sormanti & Ballan, 2011).

In this chapter I will refer to the grief of disabled children, to the perception of death, the treatment of the caring organizations including the school staff, the way in which the notification of death or illness is given and the treatment after the loss has occurred.

In recent years I have been researching and writing about children and adults with disabilities in Israel and their dealings with death, with rituals, and the way the adult environment treats them and takes care of them during times of grief and bereavement.

In the course of the study, we met with staff members in schools for special education who had experienced the loss of a student and coped with loss and grief (Shalev, 2021; Shalev, Zamir, & Barak, 2022).

Keywords:

Bereavement, school, children with disabilities, disenfranchised grief.