Abstract:

The quest to understand and give a meaning to life has been a topic of research in philosophy and in psychology from Plato to the existentialist philosophers and psychologists in the 20th century (e.g., Frankl, 1967; Sartre, 1934; Plato, 1986). Among existential questions that are quasi-universal, those around death occupy a large place. Yet, thinking about death can create psychological distress, especially if these thoughts are repressed or eluded (Becker, 1997). Existential psychology has been developed to help individuals openly and consciously explore sensitive topics such as death in a therapeutic context. This approach was originally developed for adult therapy. It has not been designed or adapted for use with children.

Yet, just like adults, children strive to allocate meaning to their lives and can question the meaning of life – and death (Demers & Sinclair, 2015). However, their teachers are often taken aback by such questions and can feel like they lack adequate tools to answer children’s questions about death (Malboeuf-Hurtubise, 2024; Zanetti, 2020). Their reaction can even involuntarily invalidate children’s questioning about death and send a message that it is wrong or strange to think it (Koole & Tschacher, 2016). There is thus a risk that children come to associate thinking about death to being abnormal, which can lead them to avoid thinking about it. This, in turn, can create psychological distress, which can curb children’s ability and willingness to explore the normal thoughts and emotions about death that all humans are confronted with. Indeed, it has been shown that exploring – and not avoiding - life’s big existential questions such as those pertaining to death can alleviate psychological distress and existential anxiety in children (Malboeuf-Hurtubise et al., 2014). It is thus important that we create safe spaces in which children can openly explore the topic of death, especially in schools.

Although children’s understanding of death evolves as they grow older, it often nevertheless intrigues most of them very early in life. Death can indeed be subject to questioning and to a certain anxiety in children. From a developmental standpoint, children understand the general concepts pertaining to death (e.g., its irreversible and universal characteristics) around the age of 4 to 6 years old (Slaughter, 2005). Although adults may instinctively shy away from discussing death with children, it is imperative that they engage in such conversations in an open, frank and developmentally appropriate manner (Cuddy-Casey & Orvaschel, 1997). This helps children understand death better and alleviate any distress that may be associate to it (Puskas et al., 2023). As such, interventions that are targeted at supporting children’s introspection and critical thinking skills on the topic of death can have notable positive impacts on their wellbeing.

In this presentation, we will outline how acknowledging and exploring children’s existential questions about death can help them find meaning in life and foster their wellbeing. Anchoring our comment in existential psychology and basing it on our own research, we aim to show how navigating difficult and potentially distressing questions and emotions related to death with children can have beneficial impacts on their mental health at school. Specifically, we will engage in a reflection and offer recommendations on how we can talk about death with children in school settings.

Keywords:

Pedagogy of death, Mental health, wellbeing, elementary schools, existential psychology.