Abstract:

“The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways” (Jane Evans)

We are social animals, for us it is all about relationships. We are conceived in relationship, as we grow, we do so in the relationships around us. For some of the children we support, who may (or not be) be neurodivergent, certain relationships can be overwhelming and certain situations can trigger significant responses. These children may need to seek the security of control as they navigate a neurotypical world. Other neurotypical learners may also be seeking the security of control due to previous, and possibly current, adverse experiences.

We all seek control of our environments and relationships in different ways at different times, using various methods of communication through our behaviour. At times the communication shared in relationships can be misunderstood. Sometimes, as adults, we can interpret these behaviours as simply being ‘challenging’.

As professionals that support children whose communication is often misinterpreted, we should look towards the possible functions of these behaviours to decipher the intended communication and therefore develop stronger relationships. Some children may not know how to find appropriate ways to communicate that function or need, without the reassurance of a supportive relationship.

In this talk, we will delve into the impact of poor attachment, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and trauma on behaviour and communication. The talk aims to address these concepts and on evidence from recent neuroscience research. By exploring the functions of behaviour and survival modes, we as educators may be able to learn to differentiate between the behaviours we observe and potentially react to, and the actual inner world of the child.

The talk will emphasise the importance of responding to children's needs and providing support in a trusting relationship. By becoming emotionally available individuals, as well as teachers, we can offer the necessary support to the children we support and teach.

Keywords:

Behaviour, Challenge, Relationships, Communication, Functions.